Self-confidence is important for a fulfilling life

 

self confidence

A healthy and strong self-confidence - which of us does not want that? With a good dose of self-confidence one goes through life carefree.

It has no inhibitions, reach out to others, you have no fear of rejection, criticism and rejection, you dare professionally more and therefore also has more success, you have very little fear of failure , etc.

Unfortunately, the self-confidence of most people has suffered in childhood. Let's see, where a lack or loss of confidence comes.

The cause of low self-confidence

No one comes with a little or a lack of confidence on the world. If we trust us nothing, are shy and inhibited, it is because we have done from an early age experiences that have left us feeling that something is wrong with us and we are inferior.

These experiences are responsible for ensuring that we now carry around a voice with us, who never has a good or kind word left for us, and which I therefore call the inner critic.

The inner critic is constantly trying to attack our self-esteem, our self-esteem and self-confidence.

The inner critic throws us humiliating words to the head like a fool, idiot, loser and a coward or referred to us as stupid, ugly, incapable and weak. So we have constantly suffers strong self-doubts and our self-image.

Our inner critic leaves us to believe that we are inferior, and does nothing to strengthen our confidence, our self-esteem and self-respect. On the contrary: he has only one thing in mind: to make us "small".

No wonder, when our self-esteem and self-confidence are low.

The birth of the inner critic

The critic in us was in our first years of life. In this time we have especially the adults, but also peers, made consciously and unconsciously constantly aware of our faults and weaknesses.

You have punished us with words and repellent behavior when we were not as they demanded it of us: "You're no nothing," "Out of you will never be anything", "With you, you just get angry," "You silly goose "," You have two left hands "," You are bone-idle "," With you there is nothing but trouble "," fatties ".

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On some days, rained such discouraging and hurtful words like a hailstorm on us.

By the time we got to see us through the eyes of our parents and so to speak to us as once our parents.

This was the birth of the inner critic and a weak self-confidence.

If we want to strengthen our self-confidence, we must learn to try and make themselves and strengthen our self-esteem.

We must itself be a coach who strengthens our confidence in our abilities and we should be supported at side failures, weaknesses and failures.

We must banish the inner critic out of our head and put in its place an encouraging and uplifting voice.

So we have to stop to make ourselves small and convince us that we are worthless or inferior.

Difference between self-confidence, self-esteem & self-confidence

Self-confidence have means

• Can make demands
• Able to express and enforce requirements
• Able to say no
• Compliments can accept
• able to deal with criticism
• can afford to make mistakes
• Can socialize
• can speak his mind
• assert themselves

Is a prerequisite for assertiveness that we have a healthy self-confidence.

Are our self-esteem and self-confidence low, then we have a fear og rejection and not trust us to confidently act to say no, to make demands to communicate our desires, etc.

This means that self-confidence is the foundation of a healthy self-esteem.

Without self-confidence no self-confidence!

How to be self-confidence and self-esteem guaranteed destroyed

1 Think permanently ill of you, if you're okay, then I think that you did not deserve this, and if you succeed in something, think it was just coincidence, but if it goes bad you, then consider this course - you got it Finally otherwise deserves.
The dumbest thing you can do would be to convince you that you deserve it, that you're okay or even worse, if you were really proud of you, if you succeed in something.
Such self-congratulation you are endangering your unhappiness and put your bad mood at risk.
2 Make your value is always the result of your action depends. Ie do not succeed you something or are you doing something wrong, then was hard and relentlessly to you and condemn you for it in the strongest terms. Say to yourself: "You're a failure, you can not, you're no nothing you anpackst, you're wrong."
The stupidest thing would be to have patience with you - that would eventually lead to good feelings. Ceasing it so to say things to you like: "This can happen to anyone, make mistakes is human, you're a lovable and valuable person, even if you failed or did you conduct yourself wrong."
3 Take your gefalllen everything and swallow all the injustices down, you deserve to be treated badly and unfairly. If you can put up with anything you namely, then you can not stand yourself and disgust you from yourself more and more.
The stupidest thing would be if you would defend yourself and perhaps even would obtain by law: then you could possibly be proud of you and so would your unhappiness to an end.

4 Argue with others instantly if you make these compliments and praise You Say. "This is nothing special, anyone can do that."
The stupidest thing would be if you thank other internally or even open their praise and accept it with a smile. Then you can forget your unhappiness. So always disagree and emphasize that the others are wrong and make it clear to you that they want you lubricate only honey around the mouth.

5 Have constantly fault with you, at your appearance, in your work, in your character, to your services .... A completely safe strategy for sustained unhappiness and low self-confidence. Something better psychology has little to offer to you to guarantee a miserable life.
The stupidest thing would be to look for positive things about you. This creates a danger that you may're a little proud of you. Then you can forget your unhappiness. So always nice firm slap on yourself and make yourself small.

6 Make a list of all your mistakes and weaknesses. You write all your failures in the past, make a note of what you have done everything wrong, where did you decide wrong. Question else have this against thee, and take this criticism in your list.
Read you this list of your imperfections numerous times every day. Incidentally, this list is never complete: after all, you do almost every day new error.
You'll see: this strategy brings your mood in no time in the cellar.
The Dumbest would be according to your strengths and positive sides to keep out or even to keep them you always in mind: this could brighten your bad mood abruptly and it might get better.
Beware therefore about to make a positive list, in which you write down all the things you have to positive aspects and what you've done well.

How to Build a lack of confidence? Strategies for a stable self-esteem.

TIP 1: Strengthen your self-esteem

Prerequisite for a healthy self-confidence are a positive self-esteem  and a positive self-image  .
To the extent in which you take yourself more, to the extent to your self-confidence will improve. You can build your low self confidence self and exercising. Do the following exercises.
TIP for building a healthy self-esteem:
Say to yourself: I like you
What you've always wanted to hear from your parents, siblings or peers, but there have only rarely or not heard? Probably the words were like: "I like you. Dreaming of you. "
We all long for unconditional love. We want to be loved for our own sake.
If you say. "I can only assume if I'm perfect when I have a perfect body when I have achieved this or that," then you are doing exactly what your parents did.
You put conditions on your love to yourself you say to you: "If you're so, then I do not like you. I saw you just love when you change yourself. "
Therefore, it is important that you care for, even if you are not perfect.
If you do depends on your self-esteem from the fact that you're perfect, your self-esteem and self-confidence will not be stable.
Take every day for the next 30 days a few minutes. Put yourself. Before the start of exercise in a good mood by your example you listen Lieblingsmusk This is easier for you to carry out this exercise.
Take a small hand mirror or stand in front of a large mirror. You should do this exercise undisturbed and unobserved. This exercise is likely to cost you the most to overcome - but it is also the most powerful of all and can do wonders.
Put a smile on your lips, watch a few seconds benevolent eyes. Then you say it loud: "Vera" (translated here your first name), "I love you," Let's do these words a few seconds for you..
Then'll tell you 5 things that you're proud of or that you like about yourself. About: "I'm proud of you that you aufbringst the courage to do this exercise. I'm proud of you, that you strive to accept you. I like your beautiful eyes. I think it's great that you care so lovingly for the children. "
You will feel the first few days of this exercise very uncomfortable. You will perhaps turn the stomach, you start to cry, you find it incredibly hard to look you in the eye and tell you that you like you.
These reactions are completely normal. They show you how strange you are you and how far you let your inner child - you removed - your true essence.

TIP 2: Do aware of your successes

Our self-confidence increases with success. Ie, the more success you have personally and professionally, the more you see confirmation that what you are doing correctly and successfully, the more self-confidence grows. Every little success counts, because this gives strength, courage and energy to keep going.
Therefore, it is important that we make ourselves aware of our successes and hide our mistakes.
Many people destroy their self-confidence, because they more often to their fault, and the moments in which they have failed to think more and when. Their successes
Use your mistakes and failures to learn from them and then forget them quickly, and turn thee back your successes and strengths.
Look at you constantly in the success role, rather than in the loser role.
To remember past successes and to rejoice, boosts self-confidence and a battered self-esteem.

TIP 3: Note that down what others like about you

Note that down, what other (partner, friend (in), children, work colleagues, supervisor) estimate to you. What compliments you make these people?
My partner likes about me that ...
My kids like about me that ...
My best friend / my best friend likes about me that ...
My work colleagues appreciate me that ...
My boss appreciates me that ...
My father / my mother appreciate me that ...
Calls you these compliments again and again in memory, especially when you doubt yourself and if you want to persuade your critics that you have built again crap and not're okay.
By you calling you remembered what others like about you, you strengthen your self esteem and your low self-esteem.

TIP 4: Stop comparing yourself with other

The habit to compare yourself with others can, your self-confidence do great harm.
Because if you compare yourself with friends, colleagues or strangers who have more than you, who are more popular than you, look better, do more with themselves and their lives, have the skills and talents that you have not, then you envy this may and your self-esteem and your self-confidence suffer.
You feel like you then inevitably inferior and inferior.
To compare themselves with others and to measure is not harmful. You may however, if you compare the bad stack up, do not make the mistake therefore to look at you for less valuable and efficient.
That would be a conclusion that would harm your self-confidence and your self-esteem.
Instead of comparing yourself it is better to look from where you started in your life and what you have learned and achieved everything in the course of your life.